Wowsers, what a week.

You know....a holiday wouldn't go amiss!

Last Friday I had a few friends round to celebrate my new apartment.  It was awesome.  There were friends from Meetup (the English group), friends from church and my previous housemate.  It was a 'bring and share' type gathering and everyone seemed to really love my new pad.  It is perfect for me in all honesty, not small, but not big either.  That day was also my brother's birthday and so I managed to speak (briefly) to my family and family friends in the Isle whilst chopping peppers, as you do.

Last Friday it had also been a week since the disappearance of one of the Dads at school.  Thankfully he returned the following day however this had affected me more than I thought.  Which, I feel, contributed to this week being particularly tough.  Tough being...well...tough.

Yesterday I had a 'moment'.  Like a gust of wind I went from zero to very, very, very angry.  I've been a bit 'nervous' all week really...and I'm not really certain why.  It's been very strange.  Looking back I feel a lot like I have been like one of the girls from Jane Austen's period who suffered from 'bad nerves'.  I've been shouting a lot, falling into a negative spiral with the children rather than pushing for the positives.  Perhaps it's because I've not spent so much time at home so I haven't spoken to my Mum.  Perhaps it's because I still need to collect my blood test results although I am sure they'll be fine.  Perhaps it's because I've fallen behind, yet again, with my studies.  Perhaps it's because I haven't been playing the piano...Perhaps it's all of the above and a bit more.

People have told me I'm "too sensitive", in both the countries I've worked, and that is true to an extent.  I also have very high expectations of myself and so it's tough when those expectations aren't met.  I love my job, the children I work with, my colleagues, and as a result I take things to heart when things don't go as "I expect".  Heck, I'm much better than I used to be, my experiences as an NQT in England (many of which I cannot remember) helped with this.

However, in the end I think it just comes down to being tired.  Not the yawning kind but the drained, mentally struggling kind, the one that knocks you down and beats you round the face with a fish.  I think a brief change of scenery is in order.  My plan is to get a bus to work on Saturday and then get another bus to wherever, sit in a bar, catch up on some studying, and then go home to sleep.

Anyway, on a more positive note I managed to pass my Masters assignment with a grade higher than my last one...rock on!