Being back...
I will eventually put up all the things I did in my 'English Summer', but until then...
So. It's been almost two weeks since I've been back and I can't help thinking about how I felt when I left Pescara for England. It really doesn't feel like over a month ago. If I'm perfectly honest it doesn't feel like I was in England at all but I was and in that time away from Pescara things definitely changed. It's not the same being back, the things I left have all been a bit shook up...like a caffè shakerato.
I don't mean things changed you know, in that I returned to a completely different place. The sun is still shining, people still walk ridiculously slowly around the centre staring into shop windows. It's just that there are subtleties that have...well...moved on I guess. And that's what I've been struggling with lately, the slow undercurrents of movement. Especially as, at this time of year, things naturally end and begin.
My career, my Masters, my friends, my own personal perspective on those things. What I want to do, what I want to be, where I want to be, why I want to do it, why I want to be it...things that all seemed so clear and certain and hot out of the coffee machine before I went to England has been been put in a mixer with some rock hard ice cubes and shaken. Violently.
In a way it is exciting that I'm living in a place that allows this sort of natural transition but it's tough to come to terms with those subtleties that once felt so, secure...so grounded. Thankfully, I've brought back from England a new bible study so this morning I turned my focus back round to the one and only thing that really is secure, the one thing that really is not going anywhere :-)
So. It's been almost two weeks since I've been back and I can't help thinking about how I felt when I left Pescara for England. It really doesn't feel like over a month ago. If I'm perfectly honest it doesn't feel like I was in England at all but I was and in that time away from Pescara things definitely changed. It's not the same being back, the things I left have all been a bit shook up...like a caffè shakerato.
I don't mean things changed you know, in that I returned to a completely different place. The sun is still shining, people still walk ridiculously slowly around the centre staring into shop windows. It's just that there are subtleties that have...well...moved on I guess. And that's what I've been struggling with lately, the slow undercurrents of movement. Especially as, at this time of year, things naturally end and begin.
My career, my Masters, my friends, my own personal perspective on those things. What I want to do, what I want to be, where I want to be, why I want to do it, why I want to be it...things that all seemed so clear and certain and hot out of the coffee machine before I went to England has been been put in a mixer with some rock hard ice cubes and shaken. Violently.
In a way it is exciting that I'm living in a place that allows this sort of natural transition but it's tough to come to terms with those subtleties that once felt so, secure...so grounded. Thankfully, I've brought back from England a new bible study so this morning I turned my focus back round to the one and only thing that really is secure, the one thing that really is not going anywhere :-)
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139: 23-24 NKJV
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139: 23-24 NKJV
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